Am I Still Ill?

Hello Folks. I’m easy like Sunday morning…

I’ve found a blog which is providing me with a real sense of community, not to mention hours of profitable reading and learning about this path.

In the Hindu tradition, the third part of life, after childhood and householder, is devoted to spiritual retreat and growth. My life’s hardly been typical or conventional in its trajectory, but the changes I’ve witnessed in myself can’t be ignored. I’m 55 and have blessedly few responsibilities. I have NO ENVY of those who are obligated to be caught up in the world of doings. I recognise that this opportunity has been gifted to me for a reason and I am determined to rise to the challenge.

NO MORE DRAMA, Mary J!

I don’t feel needy of others. I’m an introvert by nature and love to keep things VERY simple. My last ‘episode’ demonstrated amply how much abundance and joy can be found in the simplest things. I’ve had a seismic shift in how I view life. The extended contemplation of suicide and death was a phase, a useful and necessary one but I’m on to something else now.

I’m in love with my own higher self, my soul if you will. I felt a call to the contemplative life very early on (aged 20 I wanted to be a nun). My happiest and most fulfilled times have always been solitary ones. Inner peace has been my goal.

Rather than looking outside myself for fulfilment I continually recollect how much I already have, right here. The full set of five senses (not to mention six and seven). A beautiful, peaceful home that I love and appreciate to bits. No serious physical health problems or disabilities. An abiding love of books and reading. The ability to write. The thirst to learn more about myself and about this life, every day. SO MUCH to be thankful for, I’ve only scratched the surface but you probably get the picture.

My ‘bipolar’ is, legitimately, both a blessing and a curse. It has actually provided me with this opportunity after all, the bottom line is I am paid to exist and spared from having to ‘hustle’ for the next dollar. But that’s not the half of it. This blog! Bipolar. Spiritual awakenings! Bipolar. Grappling demons! Bipolar. Multidimensional travel! Bipolar. Relationship drama to reflect on and write about! Bipolar. My 21 year old son and all that came with him! Bipolar. It’s one great big learning curve and no mistake (sorry for Cliche Central).

Anyway I know this thing is not a phase and won’t go away because my passion for the spiritual life is not new. I just thought I would throw all my cards on the table – this is where I’m at, where I’ve always been at, where I always will be at. Luckily for me and for all of us on this path, the Internet was developed at just the right time, affording us the ability to connect with likeminded souls worldwide. Because otherwise it would be a lonely path indeed.