Drizzling in my Heart…
It’s turned out a lovely sunny autumn afternoon. But I’m feeling a little flat. Drove down with partner at the weekend to see my Mum. We went for a walk along the coast between Folkestone and Dover which turned into a hike, mostly in the dark along slippery and sometimes ill-defined paths, through what’s known as the Warren. The next day we drove out to a lovely old country pub (my Mum lives near the Kent coast) and had a very good vegetarian pub lunch.
All of which was fine enough. But I was aware of my mood slipping slowly downwards toward Sunday evening. That familiar sense of things not being quite as I want and/or need them to be. Rightly or wrongly I often think it’s about my partner and me. Or whoever else I happen to be around at the time. It’s hard to tell if that’s me projecting my malaise onto a convenient scapegoat.
Yesterday I had to stand in for my friend in leading our DRA (Dual Recovery Anonymous) meeting, as she is away with her partner in the Lake District. I felt nervous, though it was really no big deal. Afterwards some of us went for coffee.
In the evening my son called. He sounded on excellent form, and wanted to discuss birthday presents and such like, as he will be 13 soon. We had a lovely long chat and he was very chirpy and chatty, more than usual. I stayed in and didn’t go to my Arabic class, because I felt exhausted from that hike on Saturday plus all the travelling and missing out on some sleep.
And today I’m at work. Bit bored, bit low-key, feeling a little frustrated with life. But hell, that’s no big deal. As they say in AA, these are high class problems. Take care all. Love, Zoe.
Am I Still Ill? 