Am I Still Ill?

Another Day in Paradise

Hi peeps.

I have a heavy cold and stayed in all yesterday. I am tempted to do the same again today. But need cat food so I guess a trip to the shop is required.

So far so mundane.

J called yesterday thank heavens. Reminds me, I also have to get the bank or phone Santander to arrange a money transfer to his account (yes, he calls me when he needs something, but I don’t mind). We had a great chat though, even if he said some things I didn’t want to hear.

Been on a suicide chatroom quite a lot last few days. Was messaging someone on kik too which was fun. Have to write a cross letter to vodafone who have been stealing money from my account basically, but I keep procrastinating this unpleasant task.

What more can I tell you? Nothing much is happening really. The cat is out in the garden enjoying what sun and warmth she can get. She’s been so affectionate lately bless her. She’s a great comfort to me and I will miss her terribly when she eventually goes (she’s 19 now). Will probably end up getting another cat but you can never replace a pet, they’re all unique. Why does anyone think animals don’t have personalities all of their own, and if they did stop to think about that would they be so happy to eat meat like it’s the most natural thing in the world?

Who knows. I am not a very militant vegetarian really. I believe in live and let live, it’s just a shame meat-eaters don’t feel the same I guess. The truth is I honestly don’t think they think enough about what they’re eating for the most part. Well rant over for today.

Love you peeps.

Short Update

Hi folks. It’s been a while.

Don’t know where to start.

Back on abilify, and just as before it’s worked a miracle on my mood but is making me a little too hyper. I’ve heard at higher doses it is less activating and stimulating, and am gonna see the doc in a couple weeks to discuss putting me on, say 10mg (instead of 5).

And I’m good. Was pretty bad for a few weeks but now good. And if it’s chemically induced, does this face look bovvered?

Saw ex today, remember M? I’m STILL hung up on him. He gave me a cuddle when we parted. It felt good to be held, even just for a few precious moments.

Have been attending the Recovery Service (addiction) and Recovery College (the Camden one) respectively. They’re both excellent. I do several groups including creative writing. Have a keyworker there. I’m done with Centra for now, who supplied me with Theo, as I was with them for two years, that’s enough for now and I can get re-referred in the future if I need to.

Looking around for voluntary work in a half-hearted sort of way. Might end up doing ‘Speed Volunteering’…that’s where you just go and do a session here and a session there and don’t have to commit long term to anything. It would give me a clearer idea of what I’d really like to do.

Haven’t heard from my boy J in a few months. He’s very naughty. We bought him an expensive mobile phone and Grandma is paying for his contract, but can he answer a text? it seems not. J, if you’re reading this, get in touch immediately lol.

That’s all folks. Hope you’re all doing well.xxx