Am I Still Ill?

We all have one guys.

Ignore or repress it at your peril.

How many times have I heard ‘nice guys’ lament that ‘girls prefer bad boys’?

I used to hang out a lot on Social Anxiety Support forum – the place was rife with them and it was pretty instructive.

It’s all bollocks. ‘Girls’ prefer someone who is real and in touch with ALL of his emotions – not just a few carefully handpicked ones that seem acceptable. You are no more ‘nice’ than I am ‘nice’. I’d run a country mile from someone like you if I was looking for a partner (I’m not). Been there, done that and caught the fucking T-shirt – remember Richard?

I also detest romantic guys with a passion. Way to get yourself killed by a psycho when you dump him, girls! Fuck roses and being told you’re ‘beautiful’. Big fucking deal ass hole, any numpty can do that. In Ms Dynamite’s words on the track I just posted ‘it takes more/to amuse a girl like me/it takes more/to confuse a girl like me’.

Can’t you see? If I’m drawn to a ‘thug’ it’s because I myself am a thug. This blog hits so hard most peeps can’t stomach it if they’re honest – hence the dearth of readers. If that frustrates me all well and good – it just makes me hungrier, more crazed and thuggish. However I find my outlet in words and music rather than beating up randoms on the street (or laying into women Solly).

Look up the original derivation of the word ‘thug’ if you care to. The concept sure does go back a long way – in Indian culture no less! Strangely Indian society is one of the least violent in the world, at least physically. Women are venerated and respected there at least culturally. Haha, it’s complicated alright. I wrote a book to explain the unique complexes of Indian society while out there for two years in my late twenties – then completed it on my return. Can in no way do justice to it here.

Duh (I’m building up a head of steam here) it doesn’t mean any girl/woman dreams of being slapped around or threatened by an immature cunt unworthy of the word ‘man’!

OK so a comment from my old penpal on a recent post may have touched a nerve and triggered something, just as my post triggered him.

I guess I’ve taken about as much shit as I’m willing to in this life and if I have to be a literary/musical thug to get you peeps off my back? That’s what I’ll do.