Am I Still Ill?

It feels like the end of something.

‘And I’m not happy and I’m not sad’…Morrissey.

Did someone or something die?

There’s no bond between Solly and Douglas and no bond between me and them either…all three of us have always done our own thing. I can’t think I would miss them if they were to vanish from my life today and a big part of me hopes they do just that. It would be like waking up from a dream, easy to shrug off at this point.

It’s very hard to miss Satan. It’s not fun to be around. Its company adds nothing to nobody, all it does is vex, repel and drain you and it never seems to mind overstaying its welcome.

Satan is fed up and lonely. It’s on the run. It can’t get a girlfriend or even a boyfriend. It has no sexuality and no gender hence I don’t dignify it with one. Deep down it longs to be ‘one of us’, its nose is pressed up against the glass. It pleads for our mercy but we have none for it – what mercy did it ever show to us? It yearns for forgiveness but can’t even humble itself to admit its wrongs so that’s a non-starter. It runs in ever-decreasing circles looking ever more pitiful and pathetic, yet as already stated we have no pity and no compassion to offer.

It’s quiet and peaceful here. I’m about as disaffected from the entire human race as it’s possible to be. I want nothing and nobody, I am so rich my every moment is a blessing. My life is fulfilled and what remains now is a mystery even to me.