Am I Still Ill?

As if that were the most significant thing to happen in the last couple days Zoe! Your narcissism is alive and well we see…

I can only say so much about my boy really. I can’t compromise his privacy too much and he is quite a private person, just like his Mum.

The most amazing thing about all of this (says the mega proud mother of a fine teenage boy currently playing X-Box Call of Duty etc upstairs) is that all the excitement and miraculous developments since the weekend has not sent me into Manic Overdrive.

I place the thanks for this firmly at the door of my beloved M. He’s an amazing guy, the love of my life and my soulmate. He keeps me grounded and sane and also helps me fly high without sizzling my wings on the sun and falling out of the sky. Just how does he do this? God only knows.

We have both adjusted and adapted ourselves to the new situation by spending more time apart during the day and sleeping separately in our respective gaffs.

It isn’t Jasper who has initiated this. It’s M (and my, to some extent) exercising senstivity and empathy for others’ needs.

I’m able to happily get on with my daily chores in the secure knowledge that my partner is there for me. I text him. Invite him round for dinner. He arrives unannounced sometimes, but only at appropriate times.

How sweet it is to be loved by you, M.

My son J also chats to me periodically. He knows a big part of my problems in the past was the demon loneliness. He’s great fun to talk to. Has a great observational sense of humour and the ridiculous. He’s just so interesting. I learn a lot and I learn best when I’m laughing quite often…

You are better to me than I’ve been to myself/For me there’s you and nobody else/I wanna stop and thank you baby. Yeah, I’ve got Marvin on the turntable.

Things ain’t what they used to be, for sure for sure. They’re way better.

On the menu for my two favourite people in the whole world is probably gonna have to be vegan sausages, new potatoes, peas and broccoli. It don’t sound wildly exciting I know, but fifteen year olds can be slightly conservative eaters (but wow, he’s much better than he used to be as a seven year old. Good healthy appetite).

My son’s a bit naughty but he’s no bad boy. And my partner’s the same.

Lots love and kisses. Z XXX