Am I Still Ill?

One of the great things about sharing a home is that you don’t continually have to drag yourself out into the world in order to enjoy a convivial atmosphere.

Like now, D and I are both ensconsed in the living room on our respective computers. We don’t need to talk. There is no tension to break. We are both absorbed in what we are doing, but at the same time, it is reassuring on a human level to have another person present. L has gone off to a job interview.

A and P will be arriving at eleven am for my Shadow Coaching session. This feels like the very best kind of ‘pampering’. Tho’ of course, they don’t touch me. P is a trained masseur but then again, so am I. The Coaching works on a more subtle level than that. It gives me permission to unfold my petals, like a rose.

Being able to share my music with my ‘captive audience’ is weirdly healing. Because music has always played a massive part in my ‘psychotic episodes’. But the trouble was, I was alone with it, and with the powerful messages I took from it. With A and P I can share those messages, and have them affirmed, accepted and understood.

What’s the ‘fine line’ between madness and spiritual emergence? Having company folks! Having company! But it has to be the right sort. Not just anyone will do.

Incidentally. My Care Coordinator told me he is having difficulty accessing my blog since I changed the ‘theme’. I honestly don’t know why this should be, but as I have also noticed a massive drop in the stats in the last week or so, I would ask any of you who are experiencing similar problems to get in touch, if you can. My email is zoe.vincent@virgin.net

Last night I cooked us a vegan lasagne and then we watched the Eminem movie, 8 Mile. This is one of my ‘top five movies of all time’. (To be honest, not being a ‘lister’, I don’t know what the other four are off hand!) Anyway, it was a pleasure and privilege to see it again. I always find new things in this movie. It is one of the least fake, most real and true to life, films that I have ever seen.

And of course folks, it has the advantages of showing the roots of hip hop … one of my greatest all-time passions.

And Christmas is about a week and a half away. Am I bovvered? Not really. I don’t really ‘do’ Christmas. But I’m loving this proper cold wintry weather.  Hope you are too folks.

Lots love, Zoe XXX